All of a rush
I feel too young for the world,
too light for gravity,
unspiralled
the things I bought with experience
rebated,
everything from
pink birth moment,
gasping,
in a second is given back to me.
I am blank,
translucent, a sheet of rice paper,
just so, drifting
from
the
table
to
the
floor
flat against the lick
of tongue and groove
tickle of sunlit motes
wondering what I'm losing
weighing the bargain
know
don't know
have felt burned smelled singe
feather hair
caramel sugar sweet burns
the taste in my mouth
innocence
time before loss
when I was never
when I was never awake
I choose.
Rice paper folds
into form,
a paper doll,
mannikin, me,
grows from the floor
time-delay-photography,
I shoot upward,
djinni snaking from the bottle,
white paper becomes
belly beige curve hip shadow
dimple knee
I gain mass
feel gravity
the things I've done
the hurts I gave
taste knowledge,
nothing like apples
splay my fingers
turn my hand,
Balinese dancer's gesture
look at it
know what I have touched
what I have caused
see ahead the spirals of dark smoke
what will
what I will
what is not yet.
Balanced now
still so much yet unlearned untasted
but will not fall back again
in that swoon of bliss